caught with a grin on my face

okay, this i would say is the first time in my life that i've been caught red handed with a grin. i was in the passenger seat of a car, thus thinking nobody would see me grinning.. well, i never grin without a reason and it's rare for me that i'm unable to hold back a smile when i want to. i suppose my facial motor skill failed me for the first time then.
i can't blame it tough.. i must have been on could nine back then. caught in a lil surreal moment.. discovery of a lil shangri la in life..
okay, back to reality - i need food.

if nobody believed in you

a pathetic excuse of a person

if only you know how much it means to me that you tell me what was going on.. my this one decision is very much dependent on you and it is this very decision that will shape my prospects. i cannot linger around for long as i cannot afford to stand stationary here while everything else is dynamic.. ceteris paribus does not exist in the real world. yet i'm not in the position to demand an answer from you.

my friends said, "stop chasing shadows. they're not healthy." deep down, i know they're right. but some part of me just want to keep on chasing.. in my own defence, for a shadow to appear, there must be a mass that's casting those shadows. the problem is we tend to go after the shadow rather than the mass.. for all that matter, the mass may be a million miles away, in places that is not accessible to one.

on my own account, i realised that all i have now, it's either borrow, stolen, or even donated.. i've never really earned anything in life before. i had things easily available to me. never had to work hard for anything. in spite of that, i assure you that i do know the value of those.. even honestly believe that i understand each and every pain and suffering that i never went through.

regrets? i have none that's made an impact on my life. because i understand that at any given point, none of the circumstances are ever the same. we act on our decisions that we made at that particular time based on those particular circumstances.. we cannot change circumstances any more than the past. so remorse? u're barking up the wrong tree buddy.

much been said but i'm still without a conclusion.

catch me, I'm falling

烦

好久没写中文了。该写写下。。

做人为什么要那么犯贱。救球什么也搞不清楚。。 这样说也不什么对。 该说已经知道了但还是装傻。烦的很。

call me when u get home

This is suppose to be my line.. instead tonight, it's on me.. haha.. was over at butterworth watching Ip Man with a few friends.
wasn't excellent but i didn't sleep through it...

ah.. not in the mood to write anything.. off to watch britain's got talent.. me favour show... one of...

ipoh

day trip to ipoh... originally there were suppose to be the 6 of us. 2 of them bailed on us, though we did manage to find a replacement in the last moment..

not much really for today... not very happening.. we start off from penang at 7am.. two person was late... it came to no surprise that one of them is me. get used to it, i have trouble getting up in the morning. especially like 5-6 morning. be that as it may, we got to ipoh's fook san restaurant at 9am.. the food was not bad... dim sum... not a big fan so i didn't had much. bought 5 lottery tickets from an aggressive lottery ticket seller. my plan was to buy only 3 tickets as usual... this old lady with a walking stick managed to get me to buy 5.. she is good. if only i could get such as aggressive sales person for the shop..

after lunch, we went to buy some local biscuits and off to some cave temple.. we do what we do at temples - pay respect to the deities.. we then stop for the few of them to buy pomelo. bought yim kuk kai and then we head home..
not that exciting really.. nevertheless, good company..

i've been watching csi miami season 8 and csi newyork for the past couple of days.. to be honest, it's a bit too dry but i still watch them... weird...

nothing happening lately...
for all that boredom, i still have a lot hanging from my head :(

unchartered waters

if i'm not mistaken, i did wrote an entry on this title before. the content however is blur to me right now.. couldn't recall...
be that as it may...

i'm back in square one. frantically looking for work again.. by the way, thank you for voting. it made sense to have multiple sarcasm now.. i thought i made up my mind on whether to try find work in sg yesterday. but now, it seems like there might be a change of plan... something pop up today, not a firm offer though, would know the results by end of next week. this would be quite the opportunity that i am looking for all this while... not exactly but quite so.. again, theory of the second best. more of theory of the best out of the worst..
sg - of course i have my reasons in deciding for it.. the reasons are of course not to be revealed here.

i think someone is pissed at me for being so fickle.

i really need to talk to someone..

help!

Steamboat went wrong

i am just so appalled at myself. shame and disgust of myself.. my horrid cooking and terrible choice of wain. the only thing right was the whisky and ice cream.. how could i forgive myself for this disaster? i suppose my friends were nice enough to say the food was "ok"... it's still an atrocious meal. if i wear a restaurant, i won't come back myself.

i did a tomyam soup for steamboat. the soup was over sour with a bitter taste. due to the lime.. and the chilli was, shall we say just for deco?
prawn from tesco was not fresh... other ingredients were fine though... they were from cold storage. i trust the pork was good, chicken was fine, and so on... who says money can't buy satisfaction? hah...
the wain... i thought it was adequate... so did n3.. the others didn't quite agree with the wain. sad~
conclusion, my steamboat was a disaster ! my cooking skill must have diminished significantly since you know when. i can't cook as i used to.. damn...

we did have haagen daz ice cream.. which i think it's agreeable that it's good... after all it's HAAGEN DAZS. had cappuccino truffle and summer berries and cream. obviously the summer berriers and cream aren't meant for me. gold label is always the best choice. you cannot go wrong with it.. trust me.. haha..

end of the day, guess what... i'm drunk. again... i suck.. haha...
when i sober up, n2 was sweet enough to go dinner with me.. she didn't had anything as she was still full and just sat to watch me gobble my food down.

might be seeing a friend off tomorrow morning. i'm not sure whether they were just joking or it will just be awkward if only i turn up to see her off. shall confirm with them in a while..

song playing on my mind

if you could see what i see, feel what i feel...
you just have no idea, do you?

long break

this is my first post after a long time. has it been half a year? i should think so. i know there's the date on the last post but it's just that i'm too lazy to take a look at it. didn't update any post since i started my job and now that i've resigned, hence i'm free.

there's so much to write about that i have nothing to write. irony has be the central theme of my life so far. work sucks so don't really want to talk about that. am unemployed at the moment. with no income but bills to pay, it's tough.
nevertheless, am enjoying a cuppa on a lazy saturday afternoon. though weekends are relatively meaningless when u're unemployed.

recently, some friends of mine are knocking a new idea to look for employment in singapore. personally, i don't fancy singapore that much. in fact, my friends should know my standing position on sg. i guess i might just entertain that idea. for some sakes of not my own. i'm a victim of circumstances. AS calls them cha bo.. hahaha...
parts of me still want to get back to london very much.. it's just this calling from within. i want to get back to canary wharf for some reason. i just love it there.. again owing to circumstances, chances do not look good and time is running out.