an oaf

being the clumsy oaf that i am, today, in a long long time, my phone rang in class, which was not put into silent mode. that was awkward. dropped my pen a few times. took the tube to the wrong direction. and finally spilt water on my duvet. what a brilliant day. ps- my day has not ended yet. 

my house mate suggest that we have a spring clean on the house. much needed i suppose. just clean up my room two days ago. dust here collect up pretty fast. changed my sheets, lovely. which reminds me the washed ones are still in the machine. i hate doing laundry. plus i do not know how to iron. like the shirt just won't iron out nicely. 

prayed my room with Romance. i just love that smell. like LOVE love. 

Juliet just gave me one of the highest compliment. she said i am honest at all the times. great girl.  

reading weeks starting. i mean half term break. don't really like to call it reading week as the name suggest us to read. i wonder what i will do?

nak gi kencing ah...

hikayat merong mahawangsa

how many kedahan actually read this piece? 

hah!  shame on you...

this piece is about the history of Kadaram, which is known as Kedah today, from the opening of the country, yes it was a country, and the line of the founder's descendent. the story follows from Raja Merong Mahawangsa, founder of Kadaram, through to Sultan Ahmad Tajuddin Halim Shah(the 21st Sultan of Kedah).

it is obvious that the myths and legends in this piece is dominant, but nevertheless the historical writing is equally valid. these myths and legends can be analysed and interpreted for a better understanding. i suppose why it embraces myths and legends is for this piece to be interesting as not until recent times, it is neither art nor science, but mere entertainment. these m&l gives us a good picture of the morality and mindset of the past. 

another thing to be note in about this piece is the lack of time setting and frame. it had been totally neglected so it is up to us to match the story line to the time line. 

there are a few versions of this piece. 3 edition that i have hold of is by R. J. Wilkinson [there is one copy in Muzium Negeri Kedah], A. J. Sturrock, and Sir W. Maxwell. these versions varied in their emphasis on different issues as such examples:-

1. the messenger, that brought the news of Raja Rum is to be in-laws with Emperor of China, is burung kakak tua (parrot) in Maxwell while in other versions, it is burung rajawali (eagle).
2. the love story between Raja Seri Inderawangsa and the giant princess. more is said about this love story in Maxwell than other versions. [Raja Ong Maha Perita Deria, aka, Raja Bersiung, is an evil spawn of Raja Seri Inderawangsa and the giant princess]. 

the influences on this pieces range from the local animistic believe at that time and islam religion. the tale of Raja Buluh Betung came from the local myth. Raja Bersiung has undeniable similarity with the indian tale of Maha Satasoma-Jataka (both had a taste for the flesh and blood of men). sheikh Abdullah's expedition is probably a work of a javanese writer. Seri Rama and Hanuman most probably come from the Siamese wayang kulit, also from the Hikayat Seri Rama itself. the appearances of Nabi Allah Sulaiman from the obvious influence of islam. 

according to this piece, Raja Merong Mahapudisat's 4 offspring then rule 4 different countries or states. the youngest prince remain in kedah to rule kedah, the eldest to up north to rule Siam, 2nd prince south to find Perak, and princess to the east to establish Patani. of course is it much disputed whether this is really any truth to it. perhaps a DNA test?    by the way, the official document of Kedah's Royal linage starts from Sultan Mudzaffar Shah 1 only (the 1st Sultan to convert to Islam). 

this disgust me. they (malaysia generally) try so very hard to discard and bury anything that is non islam today. they are wasting all the so ever colourful history and priceless antiques. a time and a place where animism, hinduism and islam blends out perfectly like a good cuppa blend. the lembah bujang is a very important archeology site which should be studied. but it is left to sit alone beside a rummage fishing village in merbok. i am so disgusted right now. i shall stop.

anyway, nice book, good for light reading.

speaking of...

it snowed in london, but not in my place. all i got was rain. yes, i'm not a big fan of the cold yet i would like to have something in return to compensate my dreaded nemesis. and yes, the cold is a source of my anguish. therefore, the mystery of my absences from school is revealed. 

在家

my adopted budding bicolour rose..

shoes... that's just half of it...

we only have 3 person living in the house.

our own red mini cab

another adopted budding rose

lounge.. this is the after photo

my mate's cabbage. it has just sprouted.

my baby dwarf rose.

lounge... before photo

lounge... before photo 2. 

我们有很多东西。多的很恐怖。幸好现在整洁好了。

我的郁金香还没生长，要给他多一点儿时间。明年三月，春天，应该会开花儿了。花园有几个要死不要死的玫瑰树。我救了他们。现在都要开花儿了。还是不错，能说漂亮。

我已经整个星期没去学院应为生病。真没办法。不是不要去，是去不了。算了吧。

周末打牌了一天，一天去买点儿吃的东西。现在跟雨碗淡天。

DECLARATION OF CHANGE OF FAITH

after contemplating for year. i've decided.
i am now a LeVayan Satanist. i shall make these guides as my pillar to build my life.

"there is no god but myself, knowing this, who dares worship the false gods of the quran and bible?" - Satan from the Qu'ret Al-Yezid, Revelation of Melek Ta'us.

The Nine Satanic Statements

1. Satan represents indulgence instead of abstinence.
2. Satan represents vital existence instead of spiritual pipe dreams.
3. Satan represents undefiled wisdom instead of hypocritical self-deceit.
4. Satan represents kindess to those who deserve it, instead of love wasted on ingrates
5. Satan representsvengeance instead of turning the other cheek.
6. Satan represents responsibility to the responsible instead of concern for psychic vampires.
7. Satan represents man as just another animal, sometimes better, more often worse than those that walk on all-fours, who, because of his “divine spiritual and intellectual development,” has become the most vicious animal of all.
8. Satan represents all of the so-called sins, as they all lead to physical, mental, or emotional gratification.
9. Satan has been the best friend the Church has ever had, as He has kept it in business all these years.

The Eleven Satanic Rules of the Earth

1. Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.
2. Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them.
3. When in another’s lair, show them respect or else do not go there.
4. If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat them cruelly and without mercy.
5. Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.
6. Do not take that which does not belong to you, unless it is a burden to the other person and they cry out to be relieved.
7. Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained.
8. Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.
9. Do not harm little children.
10. Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food.
11. When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask them to stop. If they do not stop, destroy them.

The Nine Satanic Sins

1. Stupidity -- The top of the list for Satanic Sins. The Cardinal Sin of Satanism. It’s too bad that stupidity isn’t painful. Ignorance is one thing, but our society thrives increasingly on stupidity. It depends on people going along with whatever they are told. The media promotes a cultivated stupidity as a posture that is not only acceptable but laudable. Satanists must learn to see through the tricks and cannot afford to be stupid.
2. Pretentiousness -- Empty posturing can be most irritating and isn’t applying the cardinal rules of Lesser Magic. This is on equal footing with stupidity for what keeps the money in circulation these days. Everyone’s made to feel like a big shot, whether they can come up with the goods or not.
3. Solipsism -- Projecting your reactions, responses, and sensibilities onto someone who is probably far less attuned than you are can be very dangerous for Satanists. It is the mistake of expecting people to give you the same consideration, courtesy and respect that you naturally give them. They won’t. Instead, Satanists must strive to apply the dictum of “Do unto others as they do unto you.” It’s work for most of us, and requires constant vigilance, lest you slip into a comfortable illusion of everyone being like you. As it has been said, certain utopias would be ideal in a nation of philosophers, but unfortunately we are far from that point.
4. Self-Deceit -- It’s in the “Nine Satanic Statements”, but deserves to be repeated here. It is another cardinal sin. We must not pay homage to any of the sacred vows presented to us, including the roles we are expected to play ourselves. The only time self-deceit should be entered into is when it’s fun, and with awareness. But then, it’s not self-deceit!
5. Herd Conformity -- That’s obvious from a Satanic stance. It’s all right to conform to a person’s wishes, if it ultimately benefits you. But only fools follow along with the herd, letting an impersonal entity dictate to you. The key is to choose a master wisely, instead of being enslaved by the whims of the many.
6. Lack of Perspective -- Again, this one can lead to a lot of pain for a Satanist. You must never lose sight of who and what you are, and what a threat you can be, by your very existence. We are making history right now, every day. Always keep the wider historical and social picture in mind. That is an important key to both Lesser and Greater Magic. See the patterns and fit things together as you want the pieces to fall into place. Do not be swayed by herd constraints: Know that you are working on another level entirely from the rest of the world.
7. Forgetfulness of Past Orthodoxies -- Be aware that this is one of the keys to brainwashing people into accepting something new and different, when in reality it’s something that was once widely accepted but is now presented in a new package. We are expected to rave about the genius of the creator and forget the original. This makes for a disposable society.
8. Counterproductive Pride -- That first word is important. Pride is great up to the point you begin to throw out the baby with the bathwater. The rule of Satanism is: If it works for you, great. When it stops working for you, when you’ve painted yourself into a corner and the only way out is to say, I’m sorry, I made a mistake, I wish we could compromise somehow, then do it.
9. Lack of Aesthetic -- This is the physical application of the Balance Factor. Aesthetics is important in Lesser Magic and should be cultivated. It is obvious that no one can collect any money off classical standards of beauty and form most of the time, so they are discouraged in a consumer society; but an eye for beauty, for balance, is an essential Satanic tool and must be applied for greatest magical effectiveness. It’s not what’s supposed to be pleasing: It’s what is. Aesthetics is a personal thing, reflective of one’s own nature, but there are universally pleasing and harmonious configurations that should not be denied.

demise of me cooking skill

my cooking skill is one that i've always pride myself with. but not anymore. me and me wok fell apart, me pan wanted a divorce, me spatula ran away with me ladle.
dinner by me tonight tasted funny. chicken tasted funny, so did the mushrooms. sigh...
i shall never cook again, to spare the world from my atrocious cookings.

mystery of the disappearing lighters
we had tonnes of lighters. perhaps not tonnes but definately more than 20 in the house. but now we could not even find one. we were reduced to using matches. what the fuck...
i don't get it, where could have the lighters went? i believe that they don't have any limbs or whatsoever parts that make them mobile. "$W$%"@£"$%!


and my cough still refuse to go away. it's been what?.... 5 days. damn you cough. i've been coughing so much that i feel like my bronchi are being ripped apart.
painful... just painful...
i want my mummy!